mid-section,grabbing hold of my insides,of the organs present,tearing apart my lungs and breaking my ribs with their merciless claws so that breathing became even more difficult.It seemed as if some part of my being was being torn away from me,miraculously leaving me alive,and was being ripped to shreds,and I was left there to bleed...Bleeding,bleeding,bleeding....Horrific,inhumane,barbaric!Or was it?
I stood at my window,watching the endless steady patter of raindrops on the glass.My walkman was playing Going Under by Evanescence.I listened to the lyrics,wondering...wondering all the while.Screaming,deceiving and bleeding for you -And you still won't hear me...That is exactly how I felt at that moment,realizing only just how cruel the world was.Where was the justice in this place,which had been torn into minute pieces by rifts and disputes of varying magnitudes?How did it allow matters to escalate out of control so fast,turning the tables in the blink of an eye?Why could not the plague be stopped in the beginning so that this massive Domino Effect that seems to continue forever would be easier to stop?So many questions,but life remains silent.It's not fair!
How long will I have to exist like this?Live this empty,hollow life?Life...There are so many questions I have for you.But every time I get close to an answer,the question changes.How long will we play this game?How much longer are you going to play with our weak,vulnerable outer covering and our dynamically changing inner-selves?Every single time the question changes,I myself change.Or maybe it's the other way around?There is no way to say for sure.I'm not today who I was yesterday,and I feel tomorrow I shall not be who I am today.It's life's natural defense,how we still have no answer for what it is.Never let anyone unravel your mysteries.I feel like a lump of clay,which people feel free to mold and shape as they desire so that my appearance matches what they wish to see in me.The truth is,we all let life control us like that...It provides us with such a vulnerable shell,giving us the illusion of protection while all along it possesses the power to turn everything around you upside-down.So long.But not anymore!
I blamed people for lacking motive and the proper incentive required to do what they should.I blamed them for being totally devoid of the passion necessary to bring about changes.I blamed them for letting the fire in their hearts die out,or for not having that fire in the first place.Look at them,the cogs of a wheel in a gigantic machine,content on being nothing more,even if it is meant to bring about their own justice.They do care,but not enough to be anything more than who and what they are.They all just wait for some miracle to happen,waiting for a savior who will deliver them.How pathetic!
But soon I realized,while on my relentless journey to find the answer to my questions that this was life.Almost all the people were like cogs,a subordinate member which performs necessary but usually minor or routine functions.This was how they were supposed to be.Waiting,waiting,waiting...Waiting for their savior.Waiting for their deliverance.Waiting for a revolution.I now realize that they are just playing their part.They are not to blame.They are doing what they were meant to do : Wait.
For now I understand,thanks to this life,that revolution always starts with one man.Rest of the people remain what they were :cogs of a wheel in a gigantic machine!They will keep on turning as they always have.They will just be under a different engine this time.
It's time for the engine to be replaced...Because this is the Circle Of Life...
No comments:
Post a Comment